It's been a while, hasn't it? 1 month or something?

It's just because I was so sad. Opening up and writing it down would be living through all that sadness again. Because Willa went home. She left me the 22th of January at 9:45 on the train, I remember because I looked at the clock. I held her hand and she held mine through these months and now we've let go and she can go home and be happy again. And she deserves that and I'm happy for her. Plus, it's far from goodbye. I have an Australian friend. Pretty cool.
And she is good. She's living the Australian dream with diving in to deep rivers, climbing mountains and all that stuff, very modern day Indiana Jones. 

In France life goes on. I'm officially on the other side of my year. 4 months and 20 days to go. Not really that much is it? I feel very neutral about it, but that changes. I still only have one friend, which is sad. But it's not because of me, it's because of them. Really. I've been talking to everyone, no exaggerating, talking, talking, talking and a lot of them really just have a splintered stick up their ass preventing them from talking and acting social. Be sad for them. They feel like they have enough in their lives and won't let new experiences and people in. Sad, really. I'm not like that. I'm quite messed up, but I'm open for changes and I know that now.

I've been sick and I've been missing my family so much. I've cried, even fainted in the bathroom, missed a night where I should have gone out, lost freaking a million kilos, gained it all again. 

And I've been to England. Just came home yesterday actually. England was great. I love the energy, the  smells, life and the funny accent. All very nice. I lived in a host family with Clarisse and Marie, two girls from my class, and we're quite close now. Our host family was an old very british couple with many experiences and travels on their backs and funny stories to tell. We ate till we practically exploded and I was worried that I'd be having problems with an overloaded stomach, ha. I was in London. I love love love London. Such a great city. I think I like Paris better, but I don't really know. Such energy and life. I bought an awesome t-shirt that I'll post a picture of later. 

And I'm happy with the trip. I talked to everyone, even though they're so annoyingly annoying, I laughed, I tried, I smiled and I breathed in a different air, different country. Lovely. 

My family is in New York. Without me. Seeing and shopping and just enjoying themselves. It hurts so much not to be with them and have that experience with them, but I think and hope they're having a good time. So I'm happy as well. It's just hard. I feel forgotten and even though they'll come back saying "oh, but we missed you so much!" and it might be true, I just don't feel like they really do. They're on their vacation having a great time and I just don't feel like I'm being missed.

A lot to tell, tired fingers. School again tomorrow in cold and snowy weather. Lovely day to all 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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