stuff

It's been a while, hasn't it? 1 month or something?

It's just because I was so sad. Opening up and writing it down would be living through all that sadness again. Because Willa went home. She left me the 22th of January at 9:45 on the train, I remember because I looked at the clock. I held her hand and she held mine through these months and now we've let go and she can go home and be happy again. And she deserves that and I'm happy for her. Plus, it's far from goodbye. I have an Australian friend. Pretty cool.

And she is good. She's living the Australian dream with diving in to deep rivers, climbing mountains and all that stuff, very modern day Indiana Jones. 

In France life goes on. I'm officially on the other side of my year. 4 months and 20 days to go. Not really that much is it? I feel very neutral about it, but that changes. I still only have one friend, which is sad. But it's not because of me, it's because of them. Really. I've been talking to everyone, no exaggerating, talking, talking, talking and a lot of them really just have a splintered stick up their ass preventing them from talking and acting social. Be sad for them. They feel like they have enough in their lives and won't let new experiences and people in. Sad, really. I'm not like that. I'm quite messed up, but I'm open for changes and I know that now.

I've been sick and I've been missing my family so much. I've cried, even fainted in the bathroom, missed a night where I should have gone out, lost freaking a million kilos, gained it all again. 

And I've been to England. Just came home yesterday actually. England was great. I love the energy, the  smells, life and the funny accent. All very nice. I lived in a host family with Clarisse and Marie, two girls from my class, and we're quite close now. Our host family was an old very british couple with many experiences and travels on their backs and funny stories to tell. We ate till we practically exploded and I was worried that I'd be having problems with an overloaded stomach, ha. I was in London. I love love love London. Such a great city. I think I like Paris better, but I don't really know. Such energy and life. I bought an awesome t-shirt that I'll post a picture of later. 

And I'm happy with the trip. I talked to everyone, even though they're so annoyingly annoying, I laughed, I tried, I smiled and I breathed in a different air, different country. Lovely. 

My family is in New York. Without me. Seeing and shopping and just enjoying themselves. It hurts so much not to be with them and have that experience with them, but I think and hope they're having a good time. So I'm happy as well. It's just hard. I feel forgotten and even though they'll come back saying "oh, but we missed you so much!" and it might be true, I just don't feel like they really do. They're on their vacation having a great time and I just don't feel like I'm being missed.

A lot to tell, tired fingers. School again tomorrow in cold and snowy weather. Lovely day to all 

the mooner

Moi à Bordeaux

Felt like writing some french. Three words and then I got tired. 

But - I have a fun story to tell. I have had ma tête en l'air these last days - which means I've been very clumsy and haven't really had any idea what was going on. 

Thursday: Thursday is a one heck of a day. I meet at 8:00 AM and finish at 6:00 PM. The alarmed rang at 6:07 AM as usual and I went downstairs to have my yoghurt with some almonds and müsli. After that we have the hair/make-up routine which takes about 20 minutes and after that I get dressed. I realized that I'd spent way to much time in the bathroom this morning, leaving me with 5 minutes to get dressed and out of the door. So I did. Grabbed a pair of stockings, my knitted t-shirt, Isabel Marant cardigan and boots and I was off.

1 hour later I'm sitting in math class and thinking about how it is actually possible to feel so bored. Trying to force myself to look interested in what ever was going on on the white board, I put my hands on my legs to warm them up a bit. Except. Where the fuck are my pants. I didn't put god-damn pants on this morning. I feel so ashamed writing this. I was wearing my awesome boots, stockings, t-shirt and a cardigan. That's fucking it.

So what do you do then? I told Maëlys who was next to me and she nearly pissed herself laughing. Hah. So did I, really. 

My jacket just covered up my poor behind - I chose the perfect day to wear my white grand-ma pants. This just keeps getting better and better. Just wait.

After math I did everything I could to cover up my assets. The bell rang and everyone hurried up and packed their stuff and I was late again. I packed up my stuff quickly, but dropped a pencil. My back was facing the white board, and who stands near the white board? The teacher. Monsieur. So I mooned him. White grand-ma butt right in ya face. 

It gets better.

After covering up my butt for several hours - you could see I wasn't wearing anything under even though my jacket covered up - lunch came. Maëlys' voice was numb (?) from laughing and we sat down and started eating. A lady in a I-feel-no-need-for-sexual-attention suit came walking through the cafeteria and stopped at our table. 

"Bonjour mademoiselle, la CPE m'a dit qu'il faut que tu aies à la vie scolaire toute suite. Tu n'es pas bien habillé et ça ne va pas du tout!"

- It means: Hello miss, the CPO told me to tell you that you have to go to the main office this instant, you're not well dressed (dress code) and it's not acceptable at  all.

I knew that many of the students had seen me. People knew the color of my underwear. I went with Maëlys and I had to come up with a long explanation about how I forgot it and how sorry I was. Ridiculous. Where I come from there is no dress code and people can dress as they want to. This doesn't mean that everyone goes around dressing up like prostitutes, but you wear short shorts and a low top if you feel like. I could not take this seriously. But I had to pretend that I did. 

And even worse is: The CPE had to give me her slouchy jeans for me to wear the rest of the day. I believe I can "work" every outfit if I really try, but damn it, I could not work those awful pair of pants sent from somewhere evil.

So there we go. Five hours spent looking ridiculous and trying to avoid people even though everyone knows the exchange student from Denmark who likes to dress up naughty. She might even have secret "meetings" as that call it (lame) in the bathroom. That's just great.

I can't really do anything, but laugh. Which is what I'm supposed to. "I started crying because I forgot to wear pants" - haha, it makes me laugh right now to write it down. It's idiotic. And people can set what they want - I got through half a day in grand-ma slouchy jeans - and you call me weak!?

I have many other stories like that if you'd like to hear. 

cool life

My life these couple of weeks has actually been pretty awesome. I visited Bordeaux, bought cashmere clothing, got invited to Paris and I've eaten at delicious restaurants and cafés.

I was in Bordeaucx with my host sister (my age, you know... the one) and her friend, Margaux. 

Bordeaux is beautiful and vibrant. The girls only wanted to visit the stores that were in Limoges as well (WHY?) and of course - I didn't want to. Let's experience something that is not in Limoges, that's the whole reason we came here, isn't it? 

I was still third-wheeling along and yes, that does bug me. But now I don't let it get to me like I did before. Because I've accepted that (unfortunately for them) that's just how they are as people. Don't be sad for me, be sad for them. It's selfish and not very charming and I know myself well enough to know that I'm not like that at all. 10 points to Nina.

And then school started. I was nervous about coming back, I don't really know why. Maybe I thought that somehow by not being there these past few weeks because of vacation, everybody would forget me and go back to there friends. I was pleasantly surprised as people were as nice as always. Maëlys invited me to Paris with her - how sweet is this girl? To invite me; an exchange student whom she'd only known a month to go to Paris with her. I actually think she is the nicest person I've ever met. She has such a pure heart and I'm jealous, really, of her ability to be so positive.

And now we are on the other side. Of new years that is. Not that it feels incredibly different from year 2012, but it's the time for start-overs. I'm going out with Maëlys and Lou next friday and I'm going to a spa with Willa next wednesday. And maybe I'm going to Paris this weekend? Life.

It feels nice. Something to do, some context in my before-oh-so "routined" life. I have friends.

My french is good. Really, really good. I'm very proud of myself. I'm trilingual! The thing is, though, that I'm proud of what I've achieved, but I can't really feel the "power" of speaking three languages yet. It doesn't feel great, it just feels natural - which is okay, I guess. I didn't expect it to come with a superhero feeling in that package deal. Hah.

Follow me on Instagram by the way - I upload many pictures from my life in France: ninapratt.

If I'm not going to Paris, I HOPE I AM, I will update friday. Bisous until then.

no one cares facts

Since I deleted my other posts, some may not really know my story that well. 

- My name is Nina, I have brown hair, brown eyes and I am tall.

-I'm 16 years old and I live in Denmark.

- I live in France at the moment as an exchange student.

-I came to France the 5. September 2012 and I'm leaving in the end of June 2013.

-I live in Limoges which is in middle/south France.

I have my host mom, host dad and three host sisters in the age of 10, 14 and 16.

- Yes. Every single French person basically smokes.

- No, I don't and I'm not starting just because I'm in France.

- I love France, but I'm having difficulties loving the French routine and life.

- I think France works too much and don't have enough fun.

- France thinks I'm a slacker and doesn't know anything.

- I am trilingual.

- I speak fluently English because my family moved to Bulgaria for a year and I went to an international school - and because I love English culture, movies and literature.

- I speak fluently French because I've been in France for four months.

- Just because I can speak fluently, doesn't mean everything I say is correct - far from it, actually.

- I have the deepest respect for my home country now.

- I keep telling everyone at home to enjoy their free and lovely lives as they are, because it's sure does suck having to live without it for another six months.

- No. I don't like French cooking the least.

- Or. Maybe it's just my family's cooking that's horrible. Yes it is.

- I go to French school, lycée which is kind of like american high school.

- I love it.

- I don't love the long hours.

- I love movies, the solar system, clothes and drawing.

- I'm awesome at french spelling and will basically spell every word you give me correctly. 

- I would classify myself as an intelligent person.

- Everybody in France generally thinks I'm an idiot because I can't do math like them.

- I think they're idiots with their English. 

- I have french friends, but they are not really close yet - soon I hope.

- My best friend is an australian exchange student, Willa.

- She is loyal, funny, wild and hates french life. 

- She is going home the 26th of January.

- Yes I miss home terribly, but I try to focus on the positive (haha, not on this blog, though).

- People describe me as vibrant, hard to read and funny.

- I describe myself as a fighter, courageous and loyal.

- I think I think way too much and bring myself in a bad mood.

- I set too high goals for myself and I'm not easily satisfied.

- I have terrible mood swings, I'm stubborn and I can be very easily annoyed.
- I'm good at scheming - a good and bad thing in my eyes.
- I've schemed a lot with my friends. Nothing seriously and no one ever got hurt.

- I'm good at lying.

- I find the universe and solar system incredibly fascinating and would love to be an astronomer if it didn't mean that I would have to be great in science.

- I suck at science.

- I have given up all hope of explaining the danish word "hyggelig" that doesn't exist in other languages.

- The frenchies have given up all hope of mastering the Danish pronunciation.

- I don't blame them. 

- I love the French and English language.

- I wish my mother language was Spanish or Chinese. Then I would be able to speak Chinese/Spanish, English and French.

- I skype my parents in Denmark on or two times a week - when I'm happy.

- When I'm depressed or sad I skype them three or four times a week.

- My French family hates it when they know I'm skyping with my parents - they think I'm speaking badly about them.

- Which sometimes I am.

- I definitely have confidence and I notice it when other people don't.

- Even though I am very self-secure I can get easily hurt and I don't aways know how to deal with it.

- I am terribly disappointed that Emmanuel Moire won "Danse avec les stars" and not Amel Bent.

- I'm extremely girly and lame with my music taste, but I have a very dark music taste as well.

- I love corny high school movies and I am extremely vulnerable with violent movies.

- Everybody asks me about the French boys and their looks. My honest opinion? On my school with 2000 students I can't find one single boy a feel an attraction to. Yeah, sure, they're not ugly, but definitely not something spectacular. Once in a while though I see incredibly handsome boys. I would describe the French boys as funny, hairy, short or really tall, strange and too forward.

- I'm afraid that some might look at me as a mean person after reading this.
- I am sure that I'm not, I'm just finding my inner devils writing this post.

I miss everyone at home and wish you a happy new year.

Wow. That was a really messy post. I'm sorry. 

Now I'm sitting in my pyjamas and should probably find something productive to do. 

Enjoy the vacation everyone. Hell or heaven starts on monday.

awful, but glad it's done

In fear of someone (my family) might read my former posts, I've decided to delete them. I will try to update more often because the turning point is near and I can feel it. So many things have happened and have hurt my hurt deeply, but after the new year, the new chapter, I can rewrite my final 6 months in France. These are my thoughts and I'm not decorating my french life acting like I eat macaroons all day, finding vintage french couture everywhere, speaking fluently french in 4 months or bragging about the beauty of french boys. I keep it real. This is my mind on a screen, black on white - metaphorically - without coloring. 

I think I might post a video soon. Put a voice on. It would only be if I feel like I have something to say, which I can't really say now. It'll probably be a spontaneous thing. 

I do feel bad. I'm always posting negative stuff and I'm always complaining to my parents and friends at home. When I'm happy my feelings evolve in a smile and my head becoming a bit lighter and feeling relaxed. When I'm sad or feeling lonely - it's not expressed. I still have to plant a fake smile on my face - either because I'm in school and everyone knows that you're socially much more attractive with a happy atmosphere around you. Or at home where I'm just not in the god damn mood to talk about my feelings. Not today. So the worries and frustrations I have locked in a way-too-small box in my mind, opens with a bang and creates a mess. 

But dear (who really is reading this blog-thing?) ... whoever is reading this. Once again I will have to spill bad news. I will be positive later on in this post, so feel free to scroll past the negative if you're just not in the mood for it. Hell, I'm not even.

Tis the season to be jolly - and which season is that? That is winter - or christmas to be more accurate. December was without a doubt the hardest month for me here in France. Not only did I have an unusual hard time not being home during this season. Christmas is (as I explained earlier) a huge deal in Denmark. The next paragraph will explain exactly how the french christmas goes:

The 1st December is finally here, I'm excited as a little child, and no one around me cares at all. You buy your fake christmas tree around the 10th of December, overdecorate it so not a single paper-green branch can be seen. We're talking horrible "in-your-eyes" blinky christmas lights that apparently plays an annoying song every time you turn them on. You do nothing until the 24th where you go out to meet up with friends and have a nice dinner or just stay home. You wrap your presents in. You wake up the 25th, open all your presents in 10 seconds, you apparently don't thank your parents at all for your new iPhone 5 and then you eat normal breakfast. Later on you eat a five hour long lunch. Finished.

May I say. This is my view on the french christmas and it's not at all sure that every family does it this way. But no. Christmas is not a big thing at all in France, which is sad. I think. The day became even harder for me when I skyped with my parents and they told me that my family would be going to New York without me. In February. I cried like a baby for an hour straight, got forced down stairs to eat a giant crab claw, went upstairs and fell asleep in my clothes. Without a doubt the worst christmas ever.

But yeah yeah, I know. I'm not here to experience the danish christmas and that's okay. I'm glad I got through with it and I'm glad it's over. I just wish the french christmas would have enough context to keep me "occupied" and not make me think so much about home.

2013 is approaching and it's the teenage years of the new millennium. If that's a good or bad sign, I really don't know. But it's on the other side and everything I've done in France before that moment can from then on be called "it was last year" which is somehow appealing. 

Not much positive stuff in this post, I see that now. Sorry. I'll find some in the following days. 

Bisous et au revoir avant ou après la réveillon!

My thoughts in one song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7S0eVwJRas

The lyrics are like taken out of my mind.

wonderful tuesdays

Tuesday again and my second week at Lycée Gay Lussac has begun. I'm loving it just as much as the first week. This sunday I woke up with that great feeling when you just feel so happy - and you really feel like you deserve it and you don't need a reason why.
I made plans with Maëlys to go see the new Twilight movie - do I really need to mention the name, half of the world knows it. Seeing Edward and Bella once again, unfortunately it will be with awkward and unsuitable french voices this time. Oh well, do as the romans, whatever.

I love tuesdays though. And wednesdays. Finshing at 12 PM and 1 PM is refreshing and nice. Since I'm the only one in my class that finishes at 1PM on tuesdays I had an hour to walk around Limoges before my host mom picked me up. So I bought an expensive, but great chicken sandwich in one of those french cafés, that looks like it's taken right out of a sit-com show and walked around Limoges. Just me and my sandwich (insert obvious joke here). But I had fun and went looking for treasures in the vintage stores and in Sephora to find a gift for my friend - didn't find anything though, wah - you know who you are, sorry man.

And now I should be doing something productive like arranging my papers or doing exercise, but I'm in an ecstatic mode and I want to enjoy it. I'm visiting my Scandinavian exchange group in the next vacation and I'm so excited. In just three days, we all became great friends and had so much fun. Also so I can speak DANISH again. I speak French here every single day. Except for English and German class it's French tous les temps et j'en ai marre. But I sound awesome, so whatever, I'm cool with it, but still it's crazy how much I miss just talking without over thinking it all the time. It takes so much energy out of you.

I'm lacking inspiration right now. Maybe it mostly comes when I'm depressed. Something bad is of course going to happen soon (hello, it's me) and that might be tomorrow. See you in less than a week, otherwise I'd be surprised. Bisous

strange

Sitting in my room right now and going to a show with my Willa, Mathilde and Nathalie in an hour. I'm excited. Many people ask me if I had a culture shock when I came here. And did I? I don't really know, actually. Thought I'd give you a little summary of the things I find different or a tad strange in France: 

You always kiss each other on the cheek. A hand shake or hug is considered rude.

Saying monsieur, madame or mademoiselle in general.

Discovering that everything is in French: All movies showed in the cinema, songs on the radio, even English class is mostly in French.

Never eating with plates when you eat breakfast.

Eating dessert (I don't though) after every lunch and dinner.

Being a bit surprised over how tall you apparently are in France. 

The awkward moment when you look more French than your family. You have dark hair and brown eyes and your family looks scandinavian with blond hair and blue eyes.

Discovering that the facial features in France are very different from what you're used to.

Finding it odd and a tad uncomfortable when you realize that it is completely normal for a family to discuss very heavily over dinner or any meal in general.

Not being used to the way parents discipline their children i France. 

Finishing school at 17:15 OUCH, that's a bitch.

Happily noticing how quick your French is improving when you hear it all the time.

Sad to discover that they put sugar on a lot of things in France, when you prefer things natural without sugar.

Being awfully tired too often.

Having days when you're incredibly depressed and don't know why.

A bit surprised and in a way relieved when you discover that you aren't missing your family as much as you thought you would.

Missing you friends and the daily routine most of all.

Reminding yourself that you're only here for 10 months and it'll go by quickly so you should get the most out of the year even though it seems unbearable sometimes.

Being thankful for having an amazing family and friends.

new ins and some facts

Went to Limoges (one of france's larger cities 5 minutes from my village) and bought some wonderful new things. Visited Sephora first because I'd forgot some of my make-up in Denmark. I was actually looking for the NAKED2 palette (dream colors), but they didn't have it, so I bought a different, but beautiful palette instead. Elle magazine is so cheap here, so I couldn't resist buying that as well. 

Sonia Rykiel jacket! I got this incredibly comfortable jacket, warm scarf and matching gloves in the luxury second hand store in Limoges. They are so nice and cozy and will definitely keep me warm. 

Some things I love about being in France: Beautiful landscapes, great cities, kissing on the cheeks, fruits, nuts, saying "bonjour", french films, long dinners, beautiful people, caricatures, pain au chocolate et noisettes, wednesdays, saturdays, sun, yoghurt, talking about France. On the top of my head. Kisses 

l'expérience

 My new garden! How lucky am I, jesus.

 My beautiful new sister, Honorine and dog Djumbé. Babies

 Random french beauty

 Beatiful Arcs like this can be found all over the place in France!

Totally unorganized picture sizes, sorry. This is a traditional Fremch chocolate pie. Seriously the best chocolate cake EVER.

A few personal pictures from my first weeks in France, Limoges. To give a little update on what's going on: I'm okay. I have an amazing family and even though it's hard to understand each other at times, we get through it. I started school - I'm in collège - where unfortunately everyone is younger than me, but it's an easy start so when I speak better french I can move up to Lycée. My french is definitely improving! I can understand about 80% when french people speak in normal speed, so it feels good to know I'm heading in the right direction. Going to bed now and going shopping tomorrow, yay! Kisses

lately

 My host family and I have been visiting a lot of friends and family. They all have gorgeous houses - this an arch placed in a beautiful garden.

 Bringing my two outfit saviors!

 Outfit for school: High wasted jeans, Valentino shirt and Chanel broche

I love wednesdays. I finish school at 12 o'clock. I went to Limoges with my new sisters to look around - and wow! It's so beautiful! There were so many young pretty girls and boys. Awesome stores too. Keep you posted in that department - now I'll grab a shower before dinner, do homework and go to sleep in my lovely bed.